Category: Let's talk
Residents of a housing estate in Brighton have recently signed a contract agreeing that they will not swear in public. The move has come because of the amount of bad language that has been used in the area, particularly by young people. So what do you think, does it bother you when you go out and hear young kids use the f word, perhaps without even realizing the meaning of it? or when you hear a parent talk to their child and use bad language when talking to them? or would you think twice about taking young children to a football match for instance, because of the amount of abuce thrown at players/referees etc, and the amount of songs that are sung by football fans, the lyrics of which are colourful to say the least... any views ..
I don't have a problem with people using the words fuck, shit, bastard, arse, bitch, etc. They're not causing anyone any harm by using those words. I don't know why these residents signed a contract saying that they wouldn't say such words as twat and bollocks and wanker, but am curious to know what would have happened if some of them refused to sign the contract and to give up their rights to use language which is considered fowl by some in public whilst on that street. Personally I think the words should be said instead of refered to with abbreviated versions.
Hmm I would say that it depends on the circumstances and who you are with usually I just say feck or I wait for one of my companions to swear, if they don't, I wont either becuase there's nothing worse than some fecker who is unable to complete a sentence, without punctuating it with constant swear words..
swearing has been around since time imamorial. it was just done in diffrent ways. i don't believe this contract is a good move. Who is to say, for example, that someone in the street is, or is not a resident of that street? anyway, I'm going back to watch jerry springer the opra, with its x amount of swear words. *grin*good m
Hmm, I think swearing does have its time and place. I think it's ok to have words that one uses in extreme cases of anger or frustration or such like. What I can't agree with is not being e.g. able to make a movie without having to use the f wored a 100 times or more, ot because it bothers me per say, it just seems like such lack of imagination and poor taste. To me people who swear "to be cool" are just extremely low class with no sense of refinement, of course I am not claiming to be right or that this notion is justifiable but that's the impression I immediately get when I see people using bad language just for emphasis or for no reason at all. So whilst it doesn't bother me peole who use it certainly do not impress me in any way. And I think we need to be more careful around children. Yes, they'll pick it up anyways but if we don't use swearing freely we'll conveny they idea to them it's not acceptible.
cheers
-B
There is also the problem of peer pressure teenagers are bombarded with swearing in music, films, their friends and/or parents...how and where do you draw the line it's impossible to control what they listen to, or discover via the net,in the privacy of their own bedrooms
There's far worse things to worry about than people swearing, so there's no need to draw any line. I don't swear often but if people want to then I have no problem w3ith it and far worse things are happening aso people shouldn't bother tackling swearing like it's a problem until all of those far more important problems which are definite problems are dealt with first.
sadly though to a teenager swearing is almost like a part of every day life. you hear them out in the parks ... "hi johny, how the f*** are ya!" ... "yeh i'm f*** good and you?" ... and half the time I don't think they even realize they're saying it. it makes me cringe when I go out with my son, that he'll learn something like that off the street - he doesn't hear it at home, but it's only a matter of time before he picks it up from somewhere. And without sounding sexist here ... it sounds so much worse when you hear young girls talking like that ...
Well, my point was that if the parents do not swear and give the child the impression that swearing is not "cool" or even not eally "acceptible" then, evenif the kid picks it up in the privacy of his/her bed room and with peers that kid will realize it's not really the acceptible way to behave and at least will realize that it may not be ok to use the f word every 5 seconds.
WW it may not be the world's worst problem but it's one that affects one's daily life way more than most problems of the world.
Cheers
-B
Its often down to insecurity swearing is a tool they use like shouting and loud fake laughter,it hides the fear and inadequacy they feel, but who are they kidding?
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Consider this WW you apply for a job, attend the interview then punctuate your speil with a few F..k's and the odd shit ect are you going to get that much wanted job NO! not even Marilyn Manson's roadies would tolerate constant cursing...
i dont think signing that contract was a good idea, but who am i to really say anything. it saddens me to know that little kids say those words, without even knowing the meaning of them. i once knew this little boy, and he was three years old. he said, "its all fucked up", and his dad got onto him, but my point is that parents probably dont even realize what theyre getting their kids into.
I don't think signing a paper will help anything. In a way, it's kind of scary. Will people sign contracts then to not discuss certain subjects altogether, or to criticize government or authority? This seems to be just some symbolic move and won't help anything.
Well, of course you wouldnt swear during a job interview. That's common sense. See, there's a time and place for it. As long as you dont do it in important situations, and if somebody tells you there offended by it so you wont do it around them, then who's to say it's wrong? As for the 3-year-old who said that, well, what are you gonna do? Thats life....Even if you dont want kids to say that, they're still gonna find their own space, where they can say what they want, with who they want, and test their level of curiosity and security with it. But wake up people, it happens, now lets move on to bigger problems, like ww said. Signing a contract is gonna do nothing but encourage people to say those things, if they're anything like me at least...Oh and one more thing, some parents definitely dont accept it. If I swear around my dad I get yelled at and he hits me for it sometimes, so I learned to respect that. But I do it freely around my friends. Its all about knowing your boundaries I guess.
Hi Sugar baby,
Well, I've never thought there was a time or place for swearing, and the f word fairly makes me cringe, it's sort of like tasting a bad lemon, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'd be all for a no swearing in public contract, since I don't swear, and there is nothing on this green earth that will make me do so. I think it would be good to have swearing banned, but unfortunately I don't see it happening any time too soon, actually never I'm afraid. I told afriend of mine nothing in the world would ever make me swear, and she said, "when you get mad, you never know what you'll say, and I replied, I may not know what I will say, but I know what I won't say.
wonderwoman
I for one have a very fowl mouth. I just can't help it sometimes. If I'm with ppl I know and we're in public I talk normal, don't mean to offend anyone but I'm with my comfort group of ppl and I forget there are others around. I do try not to make a scene and try to watch what I say, but some things are bad habbits and hard to break.
Well, once again, my thoughts aren't going to make some people happy. But what is swearing, but a few words that some have decreed as wrong. I mean, come on, so, we have the word fuck, so, it's a four letter word that begins with f. What really is there in the word? Does it kill people? No, I'm going to allow my children the freedom to talk as they feel, but teach them that there are certain times that it isn't polite to use words that society has declared filthy. But when they're at home, as long as they're not cursing someone out, they will be aloud to speak as they're comfortable with.
I think personally that children who use such fowl language in front of their parents shows a complete lack of respect for adults. I'm not talking so much older kids, but younger ones. It is true that you can't escape bad language, and all kids will experiment with it, hell I did as much as anyone, but I wouldn't have dreamed of swearing in front of adults, it just wasn't seen as being acceptable, not only by the adults in my life, but in society in general. so why has society changed so much now that we feel that children should be allowed to speak and act in any way they want.
Have to agree with SB again. I wouldn't dream of swearing in front of my parents. And where doesit lead. First you don't teach your kids about what'ss right and what's wrong, I thik it sets a dangerous presidence, I think one thing can easily lead to another, being allowed to talk whichever way they want they'll start telling you to "shut up" and even worse things, obviously they have no respect for you and your values of what's right and wrong. I think it's a bit of an all or nothing. I'm strictly against physical punishment or have your children live in fear of you, occasional spanking for something very very bad is conceivable but that would have to be something extremely bad. But if you're not up-front with your kids about what you allow and don't allow and don't set limits they won't learn society's concepts of limits. And if you've grown up swearing all your life it's got to be hard for you to stop it once you get to university or a bit job interview or a big corporation (they actually explicitly have rules against swearing and it can be considered an offense for which they can take actions going as far as actually firing you, that's the rules around here at any wait). And, back to the point, they can swear in their peer group, if they start learning not doing it in front of your parents are the rules they'll get the idea that there are groups, time and place for swearing if it must be done.
Cheers
-B
and if you are happy for your children to swear in front of you, then chances are, you invariably wouldn't have issue with them swearing in front of others. I have a friend who is a secondary school teacher, and she had an issue where a student told her to "f*ck off",, the child was given detention and his parents were informed. The father came into the school and said, "how dare you punish my child like this, if he wishes to swear at you, then that's his perogative". now what does that show, how will that child ever grow up to respect others. I think he most likely will not, because that is the attitude with which he has been raised.
Well, who has an addiction to swearing? It can be controlled for Gods sake. Like I said, use it in the privacy of your own home, or around people your comfortable with who dont care if you do it. Just because a kid swears, it doesn't mean they'll end up out of control, drug addict, delinquent losers. I mean, I may have a few problems, but do you see me in jail? No! Cuss words are just words, to spice up your conversations a little bit! And I dont think little kids should do it at all (I didn't start till I was 13.)
And I'll bet anything that that kids father didnt care about his son one bit either. That kid was probably so ignored and mistreated at home, that he felt he had to act out to get any level of attention. By saying, "Let's ban swearing in public" you're infringing on the free speech of others, which is going right down the toilet as it is...But like I said, there are definitely certain times where it's not acceptable, such as at your job so you can keep that perfect image you have to pretend you are in order to be accepted into society. So just because somebody swears at home, or on the street, it doesn't mean he has no control of the words that come out of his mouth in other places. And that teacher that that kid said that to, I'll bet they deserved it.
I didn't say I wouldn't teach my child when it is right and when it isn't, but I'd rather know what my child is saying/doing, then have them hiding it from me, and on top of that, how many of us have done something because we've been told no; though it hurts no one? And before that is twisted, note I said though it hurts no one. I was told sex was wrong, wasn't really taught safety until it was almost to late, and why did I do it? Because I wanted to know what was so wrong with it. All I'm saying is I want a relationship with my children where I can focus on the serious problems; not just the ones that society deams wrong...but doesn't truly effect anything but another's sinsebilities...
Witchcraft how can you expect your children to understand when their language is acceptable or otherwise, when you are happy to let them express themselves as and when they please, it's a double standard if ever I heard 1 would you be happy with your child's self expression if it was accompanied by a torrent of unnecessary swearing...I for 1 would get up and leave..you said "I want to focus on the serious problems" well a child growing up with a filthy mouth, will rapidly become 1 of those problems when he or she is arrested for swearing, at the police, or expelled from school or college ect due to their language...
well there is something to be said for wanting to know what your children are doing rather than them feeling they will hide it from you, children though will test the boundaries, and the more freedom you give them, the more freedom they will want. And where do you draw the line, would you for example, allow your child to have a boyfriend/girlfriend to stay over? in the same room? and at what age would you allow this ...
As I said, we will teach them when it's right and wrong. And don't say it's not possible. We do teach our children when it's appropriate to pee, master bate, or anything else... As far as the boyfriend/girlfriend thing...No, not until they're 18 because though we're open minded about things most people aren't, and most parents couldn't cope with their child staying over with their boyfriend/girlfriend, so, they would probably have to lie to the other parents to accomplish it. Also, we feel that the consequence of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are much more severe then a "curse" word slipping out in the middle of the grocery store while we're in the process of teaching them between right and wrong. However, I also plan on being open with our children, and giving them the information to know appropriate behavior. I will not be one of these parents who say, "do as I say, not as I do". That sends to many mixed messages, fosters distrust, and causes more problems then if a parent is open and honest when talking about the issues of life.
Here here, Witchcraft.
18yr olds are not mature enough to cope with that level of responsibility
I actually think that being a parent is something you learn progressively. Before you have a baby, you have all these pre conceived ideas of how it's going to be. The things you will, and will not allow etc. The things you will do, and as soon as that baby is born, a lot of those go out the window. Because what works for one, doesn't necessarily work for another. I for instance was going to breast feed. Nothing in the world was going to prevent me from doing so, but ya know what? i gave up that notion after 4 days for various reasons and went on to bottles. then there was my view on smacking. I have always considered that a good hiding never did a child any harm, but then I got to thinking about it, and watched a friend smack her child for hitting another child .. what message did this put across? the only time I've ever smacked my child was because he reached up to the work surface in the kitchen where there was a hot pan, it was more a reaction than anything, but I think there are other more suitable ways to disciplin. And so as the child grows, you encounter all these different hurdles, and realize that the way you thought was the right way, isn't necessarily the only way to do things. Of course there are also the things that you say you will never do and stick to - I was adament my son would never be allowed a dummy (think you call it a pasifier in the states), and everyone told me he'd have a dummy by the time he was a month old. he had one for about 2 days, for about 15 minutes each day, and then i took it away and he never had a problem with it again. Kids don't come with a manual, and every child is different, and one child's behavior might be such taht you don't allow certain things, and the other child might be more mature and be able to cope with certain situations in life better. only time has the answers ..
hmm. As I have been reading this post I think this is a really good popint to discus. I agree most with ww. He has quite good opinions. Well I could swear or say the f word every 5 seconds, but well as I have learned from my parents not doing it well I think its not polite to do it in front of an unknown person. Although I could swear on day well I just preffer not to do it myself, even with people who does, since I feel unconfortable with it. I mean it could be good, but well my havit for almost my hwole life was no swearing. I did it like when I was in 5th and 6th grade, between my 10 and 12 years of age. Now I stopped for some reason. I haven't gotten in a serious problem for swearing and don't plan to. I well also consider that of course there ai a place and time to do it. I just take it this way, not in public since you may sometimes beelooked by everyone or not also at school like in front of a teacher because of the problem with this kid.... but whatever, so that is my point of view also. Any unclarified logic just let me know... lol
I just usually try to tune people that sware a lot out and think if they can't get through one sentence that their vocabulary isn't very good and that they could of used a better choice of words.
Troy
Well, you can sign contracts all you want, but let me ask you this. If by everyone signing a contract, the problem will be solved, why do people get devoursed so often? But then again, since there is no logic to the arguument against swearing, there will be no logical solution to the so called problem either.
<applaudes scott> wow well said.
I wouldn't swear if you wanted to put yourself across well like in a job interview, and I wouldn't swear at someone who had power over me like a teacher at school or my boss at work. However, swearing in the presence of people in my opinion is fine and my children wouldn't be punnished. As for having relationships, love is better than hate, and I wouldn't have a problem with my kids having relationships or sex providing they used protection. If they got pregnant then they'd have to have an abbortion if they were living in my house. People mature at different times, so it is wrong to generalise and say all people aged 18 are too imature to have relationships.
Oh dear, that unprotectred sex issue once again, ww has a way of popping thatin into as many discussions as he possibly can.
Well, yes, signing a contract, per say, is a bit silly, but if it raises awareness levels and creates discussions I think it was more of a symbolic gesture than anything else and, as such, has clearly fulfilled its purpose.
Oh, I do swear sometimes myself. I think swearing in public is okay, if you don't use a swear word in every sentence a hundred times.
Oh, and by the way: I would not swear in front of children. They might just use it without even knowing what they actually say. I think this is the point where I think it's getting inacceptable.
Wildebrew I was just responding to what Goblin said.